Procrastination

As a younger person working in this project, it's difficult to successfully interact with the older veterans who share their stories without being touched.  I walk a fine line between historian and sounding box, and each interaction is different from the one before.  The dynamics I experience with veterans can range in intensity and for some, I have pointed and lasting relationships - while others have larger issues in their lives which have greater importance.

My relationship to these veterans, while professional, often seeps into my consciousness when I am out and about as a result of the process of sharing one's history with another human being.  Partially when I'm observing these older folks, I'm searching for new contacts, but it also makes me hyper-aware of the loneliness of aging.  While grocery shopping last Saturday evening (I contend, this is the best night to shop) I spotted a number of elderly men selecting peaches, browsing the milk cartons and checking out.  A feeling of sadness overcame me as I thought about the many people for whom this is their weekly interaction with the world.

You might think this hyper-awareness would make me more willing to interact with those veterans, but knowing the ups and downs that my visit might bring often leads me to procrastinate on following up with potential interviews.  I've got one man who will be a heck of an interview, but I've been putting it off because it's so difficult to face that loneliness that has molded his life for many years.  While he certainly has a zest for life, he makes a concerted effort to be social and it shows.

As Brooks Palmer might say, this procrastination on my part is mind-clutter and I need to suck it up and schedule the interview (it's been scheduled before, but we've both been sick off and on and it's been tough finding a good meeting time when both of us are well).  I'm putting this out there so I finally get it scheduled and get a really good story - and a nice time with a very kind veteran - into my weekend plans.